Monday, August 4, 2014

Mistakes

Mistakes are just stepping stones put in your way in order to help you get to where you need to be.  You can either trip over them and get discouraged or you can move on and get closer to your destination.

I admittedly have made a lot of mistakes in my life.  People say that they do not regret their mistakes... that's bull.  We all regret our mistakes or else they would not be mistakes.  Some of us just choose to use them as a means for growth rather than a pity play.

I have destroyed relationships.  Some of which mean a great deal to me and some I may never be able to repair.  I regret those decisions every day.  There were beautiful people in my life who I pushed away or hurt with my razor blade tongue merely because I hadn't dealt with my personal struggles. 

I have always been the girl who "leaped before she looked" and didn't consider consequences to be of importance.  That being said, I have a few relationships under my belt that probably never should have happened.  These relationships and friendships did not end well but taught me a lot about myself.

I refuse to allow the mistakes of my past define who I am now.  I regret some of those mistakes and wish that I could take them back and take back the pain that I caused the people that I loved.  My reality is that I probably can not.  I can only hope that one day the people that I hurt will realize that it was unintentional.  I was in a dark, ugly place in my life and took them with me.

I would love to say that I have learned from all of my mistakes and will never make them again but this too is unrealistic.  We all make mistakes.  We all regret.  'Tis life.

I am choosing to be happy.  I am choosing the light.

I now have a man who loves me unconditionally and thinks the world of me and my kids.  He is lovely.  Just plain lovely.  I wake up every day to a forehead kiss and snuggles and the simple statement, "Good morning beautiful."  I have never felt so complete.

My children are healthy and happy and enjoy spending "family time."  We have three beautiful fur babies who top off our perfect little family. 

Rather than focus upon the negativity of my past, I am moving forward... following the light that now leads my life.  I hope that one day I can right all of the wrongs of my past;  that would make my new life absolutely ideal.  For now, I accept who I have become and where I have come from and love everybody in my life... myself first and foremost.



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