Wednesday, July 30, 2014


Is it all right to admit to ourselves that we don't have our shit together?  Do we appear less "put together" if we fall apart once in a while?  Will I miss out on my Mother of the Year award if my kids aren't perfect or they eat peanut butter sandwiches for dinner occasionally?

If we took a look at our Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter accounts wouldn't we all be Mary Poppins?  I mean seriously, the shit that we choose to post for our supposed "friends" to see is all sunshine and roses, isn't it?

Today I woke up, took the dogs for a walk, mixed up some delicious fruit smoothies for the boys' breakfast, read a book while drinking coffee, and took a selfie (completely unedited of course)... all by ten o'clock.

Then I threw some chicken in the crock pot, took the boys to the beach, came home, washed, folded, and put away all dirty laundry, mopped the kitchen, scrubbed the bathroom, and took some time to myself... some more reading.  This was all done by four o'clock.

By five o'clock my alone time is complete and I am super excited about cooking a nutritious meal for my family.  I pull the chicken out of the crock pot, shred it, add spinach, kale, onions, and Cotija cheese (but only a little bit... cheese isn't very healthy) and roll it all up into whole wheat tortillas.  I put them in a baking dish with light enchilada sauce (homemade of course) and bake a healthy twist on enchiladas.  I then construct a lovely salad full of colorful vegetables and decide to bake a blueberry crisp from the berries that I handpicked the week before.

The boys are thrilled with dinner and dessert and have no problem doing the dishes for me because I have worked so hard to make them happy all day.  They clean the kitchen, put away their laundry, and then we top the night off with a carefully chosen family movie... Despicable Me 2.

Aahhh... I had a lovely day (as I do everyday).  According to Facebook.

Do I dare tell you how the story really went?

I wake up with my alarm at 7am, grumble, and fall back asleep.  Trystan comes into the bedroom at about 8:30am and says, "Mom!!  Wake up... what are we gonna do today?"  Really?  It's my day off and I'm exhausted. 

"Five more minutes Trystan."
"But Mom, I'm hungry and you promised that we'd do something fun today."

I yell for Aidan and ask him to make Trystan a bowl of cereal.

I rise out of bed, curse the sunlight, and start the Keurig (bless you coffee genius who manufactured the one cup of Heaven machine).  I then retreat to the restroom to sit in peace for five minutes and check Facebook. 

It is on Facebook that I find the smiling faces and inspirational quotes of all of my "friends."  Not to be outdone, I too post an inspirational, "Good morning, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, I am so blessed," quote and flush the toilet.

I take the dogs for a walk (let them out into the backyard to do their business), and break up a war over the XBox.  I throw some chicken breasts into the crock pot and direct everybody to take a shower. 

Trystan:  "But Mom, I took one the other day."
Aidan:  "Mom, I'm tired.  Get out of my room."
Noah:  "Uugghhhhh."  (Goes back to sleep.)

I decide that I will take the boys to the beach.  That will ensure that I still get my Mother of the Year Award!  We load into the car, which takes a minimum of thirty minutes.  We arrive at the beach and I ask Aidan to carry Trystan down the hill that takes us to the sand.  He drags him by the arm, Trystan whining the entire time.  Noah spends the entire time on his IPhone, Aidan kicks sand in my eye (accidentally on purpose), and Trystan whines because the sand is hot.  I take some pictures for Facebook.

The above pictures are captioned, "Having a BLAST at the beach with my boys!  :-)

I contemplate scrubbing the bathroom... it doesn't happen.

I throw some laundry in the washer, knowing that it is going to end up in the "fold tomorrow" basket.

I make my healthy chicken enchiladas, simply to disguise the green vegetables in chicken and cheese so that I do not have to hear the kids complain, "I don't like kale."  The blueberry crisp will wait until tomorrow.

It's time to do the dishes.  I ask the boys who is doing which job and they all join in a competitive game of "Nose Goes."  Aidan loses and the argument begins.  

"I did it last time."
"You're so lazy."
"Well, you never do anything."
"I'm not unloading the dishwasher again."
"Why do you have to be such a jerk?"

I then assign jobs, and I become the jerk.

It is now eight o'clock and bedtime... for me.  I plug in Despicable Me 2 and tell Trystan that after it is over, he has to go to bed.  I tell Aidan to let the dogs in and make sure that all the lights are off.  I go to my room, open my book, read a few pages, and pass out.

My Facebook story and reality are somewhat the same, aren't they?


  1. Facebook is definitely people's highlight reel, lol. Real life is wonderfully messy and exhausting. LOL
    Neat post. :)