I have not always thought of others first, in fact, I have not always thought of others at all. I was a very selfish person; I was hateful and judgmental. Those are the facts.
I believe that people can change. I believe this because I have changed. I am a much happier person now. I do not hate, I think of others' feelings before I speak, and I don't judge. These changes have made my soul much more colorful... it is no longer black and white. A black and white soul is an ugly possession; it is cold and lifeless, depressed and angry.
Once you realize that you are unhappy and that you make the people around you unhappy, you can start to change. The first step is always owning your bullshit. Accepting that YOU are your problem is always difficult after all, who wants to admit that the reason that nobody wants to spend time with them or fully trust them is because they are judgmental and untrustworthy? That's a tough pill to swallow.
Now that I look back, my judgment and hatred stemmed from insecurity. My insecurity stemmed from many years of rejection so I chose to use judgment and general "standoffish-ness" as a defense mechanism in order to shut people out before they had the chance to reject me. I made horrible decisions as to who I let into my life and who I shut out. I consciously chose to let people into my life who I knew were capable of hurting me; if you expect very little, anything extra that you receive from them is a pleasant surprise. I had little to no boundaries with these people; they walked allover me and then left. Once they were gone I was left alone because the people I should have allowed into my life had been lied to, used, and hurt... all by me.
I have since owned my insecurities, hatred, lies, and bullshit and am much happier. In order to find happiness, I had to accept that I needed to be honest with myself. I have lost many friends and family members along the way and hopefully, one day, forgiveness will come. You see, it really is true... when you judge somebody, you have no time to love them. I have stopped judging people and I hope that others will stop judging me based upon my past decisions.
Judgment is an ugly servant but a devious, evil master.