Monday, February 25, 2013

Soul Food Monday~ Give It Away

This Monday I think I need to work on perspective.  We are all in a tough situation in one way or another but how are we perceiving the situation?  Are we curling up in a ball and crying over it, are we begging anybody who will listen for pity and readying the 'pity party', or are we taking it in stride and doing the best we can with what is presented to us?
I know that the current situation my family is in is tough... my husband is having to work two jobs, be away from his wife and child, and care for two crazy teenagers.  My mother is having to shuttle the crazy teenagers to school, ensure that they are completing their homework, and run the office alone, and I am worried sick about my baby and living in the hospital with him.  I have no control over any aspect of this situation, I can't discipline and offer guidance to my older boys, I can't help my hubby run our household, I can't help my mother run the office and build our business, and I can't raise Trystan's spirits when he is ready to give up and cries himself to sleep.
Rather than blow up the balloons and order the cake for the pity party, I need to give it away.  I need to realize that since I have no control over this situation, I will simply give it away.  I need to realize that my mother was a damn good mother long before I was, she can certainly handle helping with my boys.  My hubby has been working since he was fifteen, he can certainly be the sole bread winner.  Trystan has the best doctors in the world, they can certainly make decisions for his health that will ensure that he is healthy and happy for years to come.
I need to give it away.
I need to become the coffee.
Grandmother says... Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; "Which are you?"

A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked. "What's the point, grandmother?"

Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her granddaughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?

Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?



  1. Not sure why you guys are in the hospital--I hope everything is okay!

  2. Just found your blog today and I am newest follower!
    I really like the analogy..I have heard ones like that before and every time I am faced with a challenge like that I have to sit and re-examine myself. I'd like to be the coffee, of course!, but unfortunately there have been times I've been the carrot and egg. Thanks for sharing :)

  3. Hope the hospital stay is over soon. And what a fantastic post this was!

  4. I'm late on commenting on this, but I LOVED this story. Touching, sweet, and so true. Thank you for sharing.