I am in love with love. I admit this... I own this and I do not feel guilty. Love in its purest form gives you a high that no drug can. It will give you the highest highs and the lowest lows. Love can build and destroy; love can make you oblivious and it can teach you your biggest lessons and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I have never been a cautious person. I have always lead with my heart and leapt before I looked. I am spontaneous, creative, wild, and free. This has been a lethal combination. I have caused my own pain several times- I am an eternal optimist and have broken my own heart over and over again.
I have grown exponentially over the past few years and am quite proud of who I have become. I have raised three beautiful, intelligent boys, have built a relationship with my mother that any child would envy, and have learned who my truest friends are, yet the one thing that I have not figured out is how to lead with my head instead of my heart and to look before I leap.
My question is... do I really want to learn that life lesson?
I am incredibly responsible in every other aspect of my life yet I wonder if I want to lose my eternal optimism when it comes to falling in love. Do I really want to risk losing the high that falling in love gives me?
When one is truly in love they can not wait to spend those special moments with their partner. They find little trinkets that they know that their lover would want, they smile when they hear a song that reminds them of their love, and they find themselves forgetting worries and troubles and replacing those thoughts with smiles, butterflies in their stomachs, and skips in their steps.
I know that it is irresponsible at times and not always wise, but I choose the flutters. I choose the sleepless nights, the giggles 'just because', the cuddles, and the kisses that take my breath away. Being in love lowers blood pressure, promotes heart health, reduces pain, and even makes your skin clearer. It is medically proven that a person who has a loving partner will live a less stressful life and have the support necessary to handle stress efficiently- holding your lover's hand can decrease pain and alleviate depression... a simple, gentle hand.
You see, whether it is smart or not, whether I will get hurt or live a long, happy life- I am choosing love. I am choosing the way that I feel in this very moment.
As I write this, I have a loving man sitting next to me. He rubbed my feet, wrapped his arms around me, gave me butterfly kisses, and encouraged me to write. He encourages me to follow my passions, he encourages my dreams. He is beautiful and supportive and I am choosing to live in this moment.